Menopause: More Flying Monkeys than Fairy Godmothers
Author Kaz Cooke, in her book It’s the Menopause, described her experience as being attacked by:
“a squadron of menopause fairies — more like the angry flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz than a kindly fairy godmother.”
She said that, first, they came for her self-esteem and her eight hours of sleep. Then they relocated the hair from her eyebrows and legs to her chin and upper lip. After that came the night sweats, itchy skin, and unpredictable cycles.
It’s a funny description, but it captures a very real truth: menopause is tough. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. And while this stage of life is completely normal, we still don’t talk about it nearly enough. That silence means many of us enter perimenopause and menopause unprepared, confused, and sometimes even frightened by what’s happening to our bodies — and our minds.
Understanding Perimenopause and Menopause
• Menopause is officially reached once you’ve gone 12 months without a period. In Australia, this happens on average at age 51.
• Perimenopause is the transitional stage leading up to menopause. It can last for years — sometimes even a decade. For many, perimenopause begins in the early 40s, but symptoms may appear sooner.
• Early menopause can occur before age 40, sometimes due to medical conditions, surgery, or genetics.
It’s not just about hot flushes. Symptoms can be wide-ranging, sometimes starting years before the last period, and often affecting both body and mind.
The Hormonal Rollercoaster
Three major hormones play a role during this transition:
• Estrogen: As levels drop, you may experience mood swings, forgetfulness, hot flushes, vaginal dryness, headaches, changes in heart rate, and reduced bone strength.
• Progesterone: This hormone becomes erratic, causing irregular or heavy periods and sometimes worsening PMS-like symptoms.
• Testosterone: Often overlooked, testosterone shifts impact libido, memory, mood, and vaginal health. Because it’s linked with dopamine — the brain’s “motivation chemical” — fluctuations can leave us feeling flat or unmotivated.
Together, these changes can feel overwhelming, particularly when combined with the everyday stresses of midlife.
The Sandwich Generation
Perimenopause and menopause often arrive just as life is at its busiest. Many women are navigating:
• Raising children (teenagers are often going through their own hormonal storms at the same time)
• Caring for aging parents
• Career changes or increased work pressures
• Relationship challenges
• The natural effects of aging on health
No wonder it can sometimes feel like too much.
How Menopause Impacts Women
Recent Australian research has highlighted just how disruptive this stage can be:
• Over one-third of women report that symptoms interfere with daily life — including work, sleep, and exercise.
• 58% say symptoms affect their mental health and relationships.
• Many women report being dismissed when they seek help, told that it’s “just natural” and to get on with it.
This dismissal can add frustration and loneliness on top of the symptoms themselves.
Taking Back Control
While you can’t stop menopause, you can manage how it impacts your life.
1. Talk About It
Start conversations with friends, partners, health professionals, or support groups. Breaking the silence makes the experience feel less isolating and helps others understand what you’re going through.
2. Notice Your Self-Talk
If your inner critic has become louder or your thoughts feel darker or more anxious, it’s important to address this. Therapy, particularly cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), can be an effective way to manage unhelpful thinking patterns.
3. Find Your “Flavour” of Relaxation
Not everyone benefits from the same relaxation strategy. For some, mindfulness works. For others, deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or even movement-based practices like yoga do the trick. Think of it like choosing ice cream: not everyone likes choc-chip, but there’s a flavour for everyone.
4. Prioritise Sleep
Hormonal changes affect sleep quality, and poor sleep can worsen symptoms. Sleep hygiene strategies — like consistent routines, limiting screen time before bed, and managing temperature — can make a big difference.
5. Move and Nourish
Exercise and healthy eating are powerful for both body and mind. They support bone and heart health, regulate weight, and improve mood and energy. Even small daily habits add up.
A Quick Tool: The Physiological Sigh
One simple tool to reduce stress quickly is a special breathing technique called the physiological sigh.
• Take a deep breath in.
• Without fully exhaling, take a second, smaller breath in.
• Then exhale slowly and fully.
Just a few rounds of this can calm the nervous system and lower stress levels. It’s a fast, discreet tool you can use anytime. Here’s a link to a short video, that gives you a simple explanation of how to do the “sigh”. But remember, you’ll need 4 or 5 to start to feel much of an effect.
The Kettle Analogy
Think of yourself as a kettle. Throughout the day, the heat gets turned up: kids needing you, work deadlines, relationship pressures, traffic jams. The steam builds until the whistle blows.
But by building small, regular habits — talking, moving, resting, calming — you can turn down the heat. The steam still builds, but the kettle doesn’t scream as often or as loudly.
Where to Find Help
You don’t need to navigate menopause alone. There are excellent, evidence-based Australian resources available:
• Jean Hailes for Women’s Health – jeanhailes.org.au
Reliable information and resources on perimenopause, menopause, and healthy aging.
• Australasian Menopause Society – menopause.org.au
Practical fact sheets and a database of health professionals with expertise in menopause care.
• Your GP or psychologist – for personalised support, assessment, and management of symptoms.
• Kaz Cooke, It’s the Menopause – a funny, frank, and practical guide that brings humour and honesty to the conversation.
Final Thoughts
Menopause is a natural stage of life, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. With the right knowledge, support, and strategies, you can move through this transition with more confidence and less distress.
The most important thing to remember? You’re not alone. Millions of women are walking this path at the same time, and while each experience is unique, shared understanding makes the journey easier.
Want to know more? Check out the other resources and blog articles on the Lotus Health and Psychology website @ www.lotushp.com.au or follow us on Facebook or Instagram!