The Emotional Side of Infertility

The World Health Organization (WHO) has just released its first ever global guidelines for infertility care. These guidelines recognise something patients have known for a long time: infertility is more than just a medical condition; it touches every part of life: your body, emotions, relationships, identity, culture and finances.

Because of this, the WHO now recommends that every stage of fertility care should include emotional and psychological support, not just medical treatment. From diagnosis to treatment, and even long-term follow-up, your wellbeing matters.

We’ve summarised what the guidelines say about the emotional experience of infertility and the types of support that can help.

The Emotional Impact of Infertility

It’s completely normal for people experiencing infertility to feel a mix of emotions. Many describe it as a rollercoaster filled with ups and downs. Common experiences include:

* Grief and loss: not just of pregnancy, but of imagined futures or identity as a parent

* Anxiety, depression, and ongoing emotional distress

* Feeling a lack of control, especially during repeated treatments

* Shame, guilt, or self-blame

* Trauma symptoms, particularly after invasive procedures or pregnancy loss

* Exhaustion from constant decision-making

These feelings often shift with each stage of treatment — stimulation cycles, waiting periods, and the uncertainty of outcomes.

How Infertility Can Affect Your Sense of Self

 Infertility can shake the foundations of how you see yourself. Many people find themselves wrestling with:

* Their sense of self as a potential parent

* Cultural, family or societal expectations

* Body image or worries about “function” or worth

* Life plans and milestones that now feel out of sync

This is not a sign of weakness: it’s a natural response to a deeply personal experience. Finding meaning and reshaping identity takes time, compassion and support.

The Impact on Relationships

Infertility doesn’t just affect individuals, it affects couples and families too. Many people experience:

* Communication difficulties or feeling “out of sync” with their partner

* Differences in coping styles

* Reduced sexual intimacy or changes in sexual functioning

* Role strain due to finances, medical appointments, or emotional load

* Tension with friends or family (especially around pregnancy announcements or social gatherings)

Some couples grow closer through mutual support, but many benefit from guidance to help maintain connection along the way.

Social and Cultural Pressures

 Your social environment can play a huge role in how you experience infertility. You might be navigating:

* Stigma around infertility or using assisted reproduction

* Cultural expectations about parenthood or gender roles

* Pressure from family members

* Isolation or difficulty finding peers who understand

* Financial or geographic barriers to care

People from LGBTQ+ communities, people living with disabilities, single parents, and culturally diverse groups often face additional layers of complexity or discrimination.

Quality of Care Matters

 The relationship you have with your fertility team can make a real difference. Patients consistently say they value:

* Clear, compassionate communication

* Predictability and transparency

* Feeling heard, understood, and respected

* Continuity of care

Negative experiences — feeling rushed, dismissed or uninformed — can deepen distress. Importantly, the guidelines emphasise that you shouldn’t have to go hunting for psychological support: it should be offered routinely.

Support With Big Decisions 

Fertility care involves big, often overwhelming decisions, such as:

* When to start, pause, continue or stop treatment

* Whether to use donor eggs, sperm or embryos

* Considering surrogacy, adoption or living child-free

* Navigating ethical, cultural or spiritual concerns

High-quality psychosocial care helps you make decisions that are aligned with your values, emotional readiness and financial situation.

Support at Critical Moments

At Diagnosis. 

You may need support with: 

* Processing shock, grief or confusion

* Understanding causes, prognosis and realistic expectations

During Treatment. 

Helpful support includes: 

* Strategies for coping with stress, uncertainty, repeated disappointments

* Support with managing side effects and treatment demands

* Help maintaining daily life and relationships

After Treatment Outcomes. 

People may need:

* Support following unsuccessful cycles or when stopping treatment

* Help adjusting to early pregnancy after ART (which can bring its own anxieties)

* Care after pregnancy loss

* Guidance navigating early parenting after infertility

What type of Psychological Support Helps? 

Different approaches help at different times: 

* Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for distress, anxiety or depression

* Mindfulness and relaxation strategies

* Couples therapy to support communication and joint coping

* Sexual counselling to address intimacy or sexual concerns

* Grief and trauma-informed care

* Decision counselling

* Group support or peer networks

Research shows that psychological support not only reduces distress — it also improves coping and may even help people stay engaged in treatment.  According to the WHO guidelines, psychosocial care should:

* Be part of routine fertility care

* Be available to everyone, regardless of financial or social status

* Recognise the needs of diverse groups (LGBTQ+, culturally diverse communities, people with mental illness, people in rural/remote areas, and trauma survivors)

* Normalise emotional reactions (“your feelings make sense”)

* Be offered proactively

* Be trauma-informed, gender-inclusive and culturally respectful

* Support clear, informed, values-based decision-making

* Include partners when helpful

* Provide clear information about timelines, risks and costs

* Involve mental health professionals when needed

You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone

 The new WHO guidelines affirm what many patients already know: fertility treatment is not just medical: it’s emotional, relational and deeply personal. Support is not a luxury. It is an essential part of care.

If you’re struggling, please know that help is available. Reaching out for support is not a sign of weakness: it’s a step toward taking care of your whole self during a challenging time.